The Un-Titled Post

So many times these past few weeks I heard something like "Well, life is good except for this one thing. I'd like to have a girlfriend/boyfriend. I thought I would have found someone by now." We use our relationship status as validation that we are doing well in life. Why is being single so scary? It makes us feel insecure if we aren't with who we think we need to be with. Sometimes we will even drastically lower our standards and values just to have someone. "Yeah, maybe we don't share the same basic faith or principles, but they're a good person and they say they love me." I've been on the other side of this also. When I meet people and they start trying to "lock me down" and get me to commit completely to a relationship right away. I've been separated from my ex for 6 months and divorced for all of 6 weeks! I'm in no position to date, and when/if that time comes, I'm going to be super discerning about who I date. There are a lot of Christian people, but not as many Christian people who are actively pursuing a relationship with God.

I wrested with this post for so long. I originally wrote it back in August, but then I struggled with some past temptation and insecurity and didn't feel like I had the right to say these things to you. I'm not perfect.That hasn't changed. The fact that God forgives, redeems and restores also hasn't changed. I'm going to continue to serve God, and I will be praying fervently over each post. This is what God has placed on my heart.

This post is about making the pursuit of God your priority, rather than finding "the one". Here are a few things that COULD happen when you stop focusing on dating, and start focusing on God.

1) The enemy will bring people into your life who look good on the outside. They say all the right things and you think you could make it work. He will make you feel lonely and insecure. He will hope those feelings will overcome your desire to wait patiently. He wants you to settle for something that's good instead of waiting for what's best.

2) He will try to use your current friendships to cause you to stumble and cave into temptation. If he can hit 2 birds with one stone, all the better! I've been down this road before. We were both hurt from past relationships and confided too much in each other. An emotional connection was made. We had the wisdom to stop it before it got physical and for that I'm so very thankful! So much would have been lost if that friendship had been broken!

3) He will try to guilt you into staying with or going back to an unhealthy relationship. Sometimes relationships are meant to be restored. Sometimes they are not. I don't doubt God's ability to change a person's heart and restore relationships. I also don't doubt Satan's ability to use guilt to make you go back to a relationship where God was not a priority. Guilt about crossing boundaries emotionally, and physically. "Well we crossed this line and I really don't want my number to go any higher, so I guess I'll try to make it work. Maybe God could bless this." DANGEROUS! I understand that mistakes happen. Trust me, boy do I understand! Don't chose to be with someone though because you crossed a line with them. Another poor choice is not going to fix this! (P.S. don't use God's grace as an excuse to sin. A mistake made over and over is a lifestyle choice.)

How are you feeling? Frustrated? Annoyed? Think I'm being ridiculous? I wrote this article back in August, then struggled with every single one of these things. I had setbacks for almost 3 months! I'm super upset with myself! I disappointed myself and feel as though I let my entire family and friends down.

But God...

God had been gracious and kept His promises yet again. He's restored what is broken! He has redeemed my story! My relationship with Him is top priority and He's allowing me to share this with you now.There is hope! I know this is all a little much, but trust me, it gets good! It gets good when you are proactive and obedient to God!

Here are some healthy ways to combat the attacks of the enemy during your pursuit of God.

1) Run your plans for the day/evening by another person before going out for the night. You may not have any red flags, but a second glance from someone who loves and cares for you could help you see if the situation will be too tempting for you to handle.

2) Set boundaries and stick to them! Don't compromise or stretch your boundaries because you think "oh we're just good friends, there's no temptation here." UM NO! The enemy will use that! If someone doesn't accept your limits, it shows disrespect! They are not worth being with at this point.

3) Always have a default plan. Have a place to go to get away from temptation. Have someone call you at unexpected times who knows you well enough to know if you're struggling. You have people who love you and want to see you succeed in your pursuit of God and purity. Let them help you!

Hmmm. I know that was a lot. I know it's probably not what you were expecting from this blog. This is what God's been teaching me. It's what I've wrestled with the past couple months. Pursue a relationship with God and expect to be attacked by the enemy. Don't be scared, yet be on your guard! God will bless you in amazing ways when you are faithful in your pursuit of Him. He will bless you when you stumble, too. Just because He loves you! God's blessing is not based on what you do, but He blesses because of who HE is! It will encourage you so much more in your pursuit of God, if you receive blessing after succeeding in avoiding temptation.

That's all for today. I'm forever thankful for the opportunity to serve God. So thankful for His grace and mercy!

Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a pure heart O God, and renew a steadfast spirit in me."