I want to write an article that’s been on my heart for a few weeks. I’ve been divorced for almost two years from my first husband and have been remarried for a bit over a year now. Currently my husband and I are separated and not living together. We want to work on our marriage, but we’ve had a few bumps in the road along the way. Navigating blended family relationships has been overwhelming at times and old habits/secrets from the past have brought in a lot of pain as well. I’m hopeful still that God will mend and restore. I’m going through counseling on my own and doing my best to focus on my relationship with God and my kids. I can’t force someone to change if they don’t want to. Right now is a waiting period and sometimes it feels like we are just standing still with no progress. Like I said, I’m hopeful, but trying my best to guard my kids hearts as well as my own heart, and stand firm on boundaries for us all. It’s hard and at times frustrating but very needed!
I want to speak to those who have gone through something similar, or who are currently going to heartbreak of any kind. It will get better! It’s going to take time!
Here are a few tangible, practical things you can do to start the healing process.
*Note: these are physical things you can do to start clearing out your personal space in order to refresh yourself and begin healing. I want to go over the spiritual aspect of what you can do to start the emotional healing process in a later post.
1) Make your bed!
Get new sheets, pillows, blankets, whatever you need in order to make your sleeping space restful again! I love pillows, so I have about 10 pillows total on my bed!
2) Go on an Adventure!
Whether it’s a quick overnighter, or a week get away, go do something different and out of the ordinary! I took my kids on an over night camping trip a few miles out of town a couple weekends ago and they loved it! I also went on a little hiking trip by myself to Colorado. It was great to get away and reconnect with God!
3) Start a “New Beginning” Pinterest Board!
Add quotes, ideas, anything that speaks to you & inspires you! Maybe make it a secret board in case your ex or a close relative of theirs follows your boards. No reason to create more drama! Below are screenshots of my New Beginning Board! 😊
4) Make a New Music Playlist
It’s always good to refresh your tunes! Especially if you & your ex jammed out to your current playlist together. I’ve been really into the groups I Am They and Red Rocks Worship lately!
5) Get a New Journal
I love journals! They are like a clean slate & fresh start!
6) Change Up Your Hair!
You don’t have to do anything drastic, but something to freshen up your look will definitely boost your confidence! I recently had my hair highlighted, balayaged and trimmed! I love it!!
Oh and I also got a nose piercing while I was on my trip! So fun!!
7) Purge Your House
You don’t have to throw it all away. Maybe just go through your things and put items that remind you of your ex away in a box. Cleaning out anything that triggers bad memories or emotions can be put away for a few weeks until things settle down.
8) Purge Your Phone and Social Media
You don’t have to delete everything, but you can hide things from your Facebook timeline for a while if needed. Delete apps to limit your time scrolling through old posts and pics. You don’t need to stumble across your exes posts or feel the social pressure to look like you are ok with everything. Focus on your spiritual life right now. Not the social presence.
9) Start a New Routine!
One that makes you feel organized and excited to get up in the mornings! Include a workout routine & a devotional time! Oh & coffee!!! Coffee is a must!
10) Take time to Mourn
Most important is to take the time to mourn the heartbreak. BUT DON’T WALLOW! Get around people! Focus on building on the relationships you have & making new friends! Do not be in a rush to rebound!!! Enjoy some alone time!!!
You will make it! This pain is temporary! It will pass!
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