Finding Rest

There’s been a lot going on in my life these past couple years. Separations, divorce, marriage, court hearings, more separations, another potential divorce, ups, downs all arounds. Add to that financial struggle brought on some by myself and some by the people I allowed into my life. Finding rest in difficulties can feel so out of reach! 

What does it mean to find true rest? I’ve spent countless nights tossing and turning and worrying about every tiny detail and playing out every possible scenario. Most of the time I’ll wake up in the morning after a night like that, and feel God ask “Well how was that? What good did that do? Did you solve anything?” 

Obviously not. I’ll say I’m laying things down at the feet of God, but then I’ll pick it back up and carry it out the door with me. The bottom line here is that God is working for us! He is fighting on our behalf! There is no need for us to lay awake at night, fearful of what the morning has in store. 

God is working while we sleep! 

Check out the rest of Psalm 121! 

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.”

Psalm 121:1-8 NIV

Isn’t that the person you want guarding over and managing your life?! He is so much better at it than we are! We are weak both in body and spirit! God never sleeps! He is always working and always providing a way! 

These principals make sense, but living them out in a practical way is still so hard. Our divorce hearing is coming up in a couple weeks and I have some fear in regards to how it will go. There is some uncertainty and still some pain stirring in my heart toward this decision.

This past week I’ve had nights where I’ll start talking to God and then wake up and it’s morning! What a blessing those nights are!! I’ve also had nights, like tonight, where my thoughts overcome me and sleep escapes me. The best solution I’ve found is to get in the Word, start praying like crazy, and find something else to focus your thoughts on. Writing this blog is a good outlet for me to get thoughts down and sort through things in a healthy way. I feel like if I can encourage others to press on and seek God in trials and struggles, then the enemy hasn’t won! He wants us to slip up and stumble in the trials. It would be just as easy for me to fall back into my fleshes desire to combat the loneliness and insecurities that come with a situation like mine. I’ve come so far and want absolutely nothing to do with that life anymore. Being a woman of integrity is something I’ve fought to become, and I can’t go back there to that life ever again! 

Working out is another way I’ve found to help me get rest. It wears you out. I was tossing and turning at 4am the other day and started watching YouTube videos of home workouts. Honestly, I was feeling some insecurities about my body and had some thoughts going through my head about myself. Rather than wallow in it, I decided I might as well get up and do a yoga routine. I really enjoy yoga. I’ve been practicing it for about 7 months and it’s definitely one of my favorite ways to strengthen my body and clear my head. 

I want to encourage you to find rest in God. Trust Him to work out every detail perfectly in His timing. I find great comfort and joy in knowing that no matter what comes along in my journey, God will use it. It’s guaranteed that I will make mistakes. GOD WILL NEVER SAY, “Oh no! You’ve messed everything up! What am I suppose to do with this mess!”

He WILL say, “I have redeemed you and call you my own.” 

There is NO impossible with God! 

Remember who we serve! 

Remember who holds you in the palm of His hand! Find your rest! 

Check these lyrics out! The full song is linked below.

“There's no heart You can't rescue
No war You can't win
No story so over
It can't start again
No pain You won't use
No wall You won't break through
It might be too much for me but
There is no impossible with You”