Skip to main content

Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve! Sitting here on my couch pondering where we’re at right now. I can hear my babies in their rooms, watching cartoons on their tablets while I have my coffee and devotional time. A year ago we were on a very different parenting time schedule than we are now. They would go to their dad’s house for an entire week, then come to my house for an entire week.  Over the past year the schedule has gradually changed and now they just go to their dad’s for one day/overnighter every other weekend and I have them the rest of the time. Most of the extra holiday time they would normally spend with their dad, they end up spending with me. 

I can’t deny the anger and heartbreak I’ve felt for my kids. The way they’re being pushed away makes my mama bear want to come out and hurt somebody. It’s much harder though for me to see my daughter’s anxiety eat away at her when it’s time for them to visit their dad. I wish we were in a place that confronting him on it was possible. It’s just not. 

I’m reminded on a daily basis how blessed I am to not have to fight for this time with my kids. We could be in a very different situation, as many separated and divorced people are, in the midst of custody battles. I’m thankful I’m not there. 

I’m thankful my kids are surrounded by godly men and women who pour into their lives and offer love and acceptance my kids need. My kids are not lacking a single thing. They are happy, healthy and thriving! 

I will guard their hearts from it as much as I can, but there is bound to be some hurt in their hearts. My parents are strong Christians and have been married for over 30 years and I have painful childhood memories! I don’t know any grown adult who doesn’t. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. 

They’re going to be ok. More than ok! They’re going to thrive because of the grace and goodness of God! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction To Immeasurably More

Hey Guys! I'm assuming if you're reading this, you're hoping to learn a little about what's been going on in my life the past few months. You may be hoping for all the dirty details. You may know half of one side of the story. Or we may be new friends and you have no idea what I'm talking about. Look, I'm not going to guarantee that you'll go away from here knowing my entire life story. In fact, you'll probably only get a small portion of my past and only if it's necessary for back story to make a point. Everything is useful to God. Even choices that we regret and wish we could change are used by Him to mold and shape us and bring us closer to Him. I'm not going to talk negatively or put down others. Every one has to learn things their own way and in God's timing. It's taken God almost 7 years to fully get my attention. God has laid so much on my heart and I feel it's time for me to open up and share with you guys. If my testimony...
3 comments
Read more

Helping A Friend Through Divorce

Goodness this is tough to write. For a few reasons.  I feel like a failure. Shameful. Guilty. Stressed. Overwhelmed. Less than.  God please help me to only say what is needed.  Help me to be wise. Thoughtful. Loving. Considerate. Truthful, but gaurded.  Let’s jump right in. Don’t pry I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at church, work, the grocery store or wherever and someone asks me what happened. Some people are well meaning and actually do care and want to encourage. Some are just being nosy. In the two minutes I have to chat with you, I’m not going to be able to articulate what happened. You caught me off guard. I’m going to give you an answer that doesn’t give you much information at all. Please respect that.  Why you ask? The decision to go through with a divorce is one I’ve wrestled with for over a year.  It’s taken a long time to come to terms with it. Sleepless nights, begging God to speak out and tell me what to...
4 comments
Read more

The Struggle Is Real

Hot dang! I thought these days were behind me. God has been teaching me so much lately. Everything has seemed to be on the right track for a couple months and His word has been speaking so loudly to me, confirming that I'm on the right track. Then today happened. Nothing really specific happened. It really was a good day with the kids. We had such great time together! Then insecurity and anger crept in like the jerk it is. Add a sappy song and it's a perfect recipe for disaster. What in the world!? I think there will just be bad days some times. Fighting the urge tonight to do anything I'll regret. It's hard. The struggle is so real! I'm thankful I have the kids tonight. Thankful I have my parent's to talk me through these emotions. Thankful that Christ Himself has experienced all the same trials He asks me to endure. He goes ahead of me in each situation. Also walks beside me, helping me along. Tonight is one of those lay-on-the-floor-and-cry-out-for-help...
5 comments
Read more