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Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve! Sitting here on my couch pondering where we’re at right now. I can hear my babies in their rooms, watching cartoons on their tablets while I have my coffee and devotional time. A year ago we were on a very different parenting time schedule than we are now. They would go to their dad’s house for an entire week, then come to my house for an entire week.  Over the past year the schedule has gradually changed and now they just go to their dad’s for one day/overnighter every other weekend and I have them the rest of the time. Most of the extra holiday time they would normally spend with their dad, they end up spending with me. 

I can’t deny the anger and heartbreak I’ve felt for my kids. The way they’re being pushed away makes my mama bear want to come out and hurt somebody. It’s much harder though for me to see my daughter’s anxiety eat away at her when it’s time for them to visit their dad. I wish we were in a place that confronting him on it was possible. It’s just not. 

I’m reminded on a daily basis how blessed I am to not have to fight for this time with my kids. We could be in a very different situation, as many separated and divorced people are, in the midst of custody battles. I’m thankful I’m not there. 

I’m thankful my kids are surrounded by godly men and women who pour into their lives and offer love and acceptance my kids need. My kids are not lacking a single thing. They are happy, healthy and thriving! 

I will guard their hearts from it as much as I can, but there is bound to be some hurt in their hearts. My parents are strong Christians and have been married for over 30 years and I have painful childhood memories! I don’t know any grown adult who doesn’t. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. 

They’re going to be ok. More than ok! They’re going to thrive because of the grace and goodness of God! 

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